Alright, first off...  Sorry for disappearing again, but well... this time I have at least something of an excuse...
Sometime in the beginning of October my dad and I went to Iowa to visit family, decide what we want from Nana's stuff (she's in assisted living and can't take everything with her), and bring the stuff back.  Well, we left my mom and our cat at home because of a variety of reasons and during the time we were in Iowa we chatted with her every night.  She was having shortness of breath and trouble moving around and she attributed this to just stress because she's never been away from me for this long, but when we got home it didn't change.  So on the night that we got back we called an ambulance and got her to the hospital.  It turns out that she had fluid in her lungs.  That then led to chest tubes and at some point a CT scan that revealed the big problem...

My mom, at less that 60, had pancreatic cancer...

It was a big shock of course.  You never really think about this kind of thing happening to someone close to you, but yeah.  Apparently she'd had it for a pretty long time.  It spread to her liver and from there, her lungs.  They think that's part of what caused the fluid...  So from there she was moved into hospice.  Not sure how long, around a month maybe?  Anyway, in the morning after her birthday we were called by the hospice to come up for... well... you can probably guess...  We sat there with her and around 3:30 AM, my mom passed away with my dad and I holding her hands...  I didn't look at her afterward, not even at the funeral.  I refuse to remember her lifeless and I sure as hell refuse to remember a corpse in my mom's place.  So yeah, this kind of fucked everything up.  The funeral happened on the 16th and it was as perfect as a funeral could be.

So yeah, my mom died this month...  That's a big part of why I haven't exactly been active on here...

Hey anyone who reads my journals!  I am now 20 years old!  XD

    tagged by 

THE RULES!!!
1.You have to post ALL the Rules
2. Each person has to share 13 things about themselves
3. Answer 13 questions asked to you and invent 13 questions the people you tag will have to answer
4. Choose 13 people
5. You have to legitimately tag 13 people 
6. You CAN'T say you don't do tags
7. Tag-backs are ALLOWED
8. YOU MUST MAKE A JOURNAL ENTRY! NO COMMENTS! unless you're talking ABOUT the entry
9. You have to finish within a week. If you don't finish in time, you have to do what ever the creator tells you 
10. Be creative with the title. No, " I got tagged" stuff

My Facts!
1.  I tested out of high school because I've got one hell of a perfect storm of laziness, anxiety, procrastination, and stubbornness.
2.  Up until recently I've only had one friend that has known me LITERALLY for my whole life.  She was saved by my mom and so she knew me before I was even out of my mom's belly.  XD
3.  I just got a computer that cost over 1000 dollars and I feel guilty as sin about it.
4.  I play minecraft and am currently working on getting a bee farm set up.  XD  (Forestry for the win!)
5.  My family and I consider the number thirteen lucky because my mom and dad starting going out on Friday the thirteenth and they went to watch Friday the thirteenth part three.  :3
6.  I used to be in choir and I won an award for alto one year.  Oh and I have an okay soprano voice.
7.  My initials are ASH and I always wanted to be called Ash, but there was a girl next door named Ashley and she went by Ash so oh well.  XD
8.  I have a HUGE collection of fake plants in my room.  The reasons I didn't go with live plants are; the hassle of cleaning up after them, taking care of them, and keeping my room warm.  That leads into the next fact...
9.  I really like sleeping in a cold room while being buried in a bunch of blankets.
10.  I've been diagnosed with ADD.
12.  I watch a TON of cartoons.
13.  I've read a LOT of books.  In fact I was literate pretty damn early because my mom read to me while I was in the womb.  I had an advanced reading level and read White Oleander when I was probably too young to be reading it.  I'm currently working my way through the Warriors series and it's making me cry.  qwq  So much sad nostalgia...

My answers 

1- what was the last movie\serie ya have watched?
Generator Rex.  XD  The last one that I finished watching was Kulpari: An Army of Frogs, it was awesome!

2- whats on yer left right now?
My cellphone and my 3DS.

3-  fav junkfood?
Tough...  I guess I'd have to say Chex Muddy Buddies.

4- if ya could be a animal fer one day...which one?
Real animal? Cat
Fantasy animal? Dragon

5- sleep one week in a haunted mansion fer 5000 bucks? but I mean really haunted,fuck amnesia 
OH HELL YES!  I mean most hauntings are really just natural explainable phenomena or they're not aggressive.  If it's aggressive then I change my answer to AW HELL NAW!  >:C

6- got any siblings?
Only my soul sister AKA the friend who has known me for my whole life.  :3

7- what pets do ya have?
An assh*le cat named Doofenshmirtz.  (After Dr. Doofenshmirtz from Phineas and Ferb)

8- worst fear?
A tie between losing any one of my senses and dying before my parents.

9- fav plant?
Hmmm...  Snowbell flowers

10- whats the meaning of life?
Be well loved and love well in return.

11- whats yer life goal? 
Find someone that'll love me or hell even someones if they're okay with that.  :3

12- opinion on vegatarians? 
They've got some good points, but they shouldn't shove it down other peoples' throats.  I actually did a "thirty" day vegetarian challenge and it's really tough.  I got sick on the last day though and had to have some non-vegetarian soup.  XD

13- what languanges do ya speak? 
English and my own nonsense language.  (It's just gibberish.  XD)

My Questions

1- How long have you been on deviantart?

2- Why did you join?

3- Have you even eaten a bug intentionally?  (I've eaten a scorpion lollipop!)

4- Favorite music genre?

5- Have you ever been in love before?

6- Do you have any fetishes?  (You don't have to say what they are.  Just yes or no will do.)

7- Have you ever donated to charity?

7- Do you read Webtoons?

8- How about webcomics?

9- Can a person experience more than one true love?

10- Do you know what subcutaneous cysts are?  Have you had them before?

11- Do you like cats?

12- How many cat facts do you know?  (Please list them.)

13- Do you fear death or do you embrace the fact that it's a part of life?


Sorry I got a bit weird with that last one, but on to the tagging of people!
I tag , , , , , , , , , , , , and lastly
I did my best to pick people that would probably have time to get to this.  XD  Hope I didn't bend the rules too hard.

FOR THE FIRST 10 PEOPLE TO COMMENT ON THIS JOURNAL, 
I WILL PUT THEIR AVATAR 
AND THE FOUR DEVIATIONS I LIKE THE MOST 
FROM THEIR GALLERY ON THE LIST!


If you comment, you have to make a journal like this and do the same thing, putting me in the first spot. 

The idea of this is not to get a free feature, it is to spread art around for everyone! 
If you don't re-do it you will be taken off the list.

1.   Haikyuu!! Kisses (Oikawa x Reader)
Tooru Oikawa was laying on his back on his couch, staring vacantly at the ceiling. He was thinking of a certain someone again; about the way you moved your fingers to gently soothe your neck after sitting at your desk all day, the way you laughed when you thought no one was looking that charmed him so, and most of all, the way you couldn't be bothered to put up with the showy side of him. Only a few of his closest friends saw through that façade of his, but you had been able to spot it from the start.
He liked it. No. He loved that about you.
True. At first, he had hated that about you. It was too much like himself. He didn't like not being the most observant person in the room.
He generally portrayed himself in a way that made him popular, and he did have a lot of those traits, but he turned to that even when there were times he would have acted much differently if no one was around. He put on airs that he deserved to be the most popular person Haikyuu!! Kisses (Bokuto x Reader)
Koutarou Bokuto was in a great mood. He had finally graduated high school and would be going to a college with an excellent volleyball team so that he could continue to play. On top of that, he got to spend tonight with all of his best friends at an awesome party full of free food, volleyball chatter, and loads of cute girls telling him how amazing it was to watch him play at the Spring Nationals.
The only thing that could make this night better would be if he could convince you to dance with him. He had focused so hard on ball throughout high school that he'd never worked out how to actually date someone at the same time. Being outgoing and flirty was part of his nature and having girls come up and compliment his skills on the court certainly wasn't a negative as far as he was concerned, but when it came to somebody he could actually see himself dating, there was really only one girl.
Besides his teammates, no one had been there for him like you had. Other classmates constantly talked

Mature Content

Haikyuu!! Kisses (Kenma x Reader)
Kenma wasn't sure how Kuroo had convinced him to come to this party.  This was exactly the type of event that made the young blond boy cringe.
It had been a banner year for the volleyball club from Karasuno High School.  Their coach, Ukai had decided to throw a huge end of the year party for all of the volleyball teams in their region, and Mr. Takeda had invited the teams from Tokyo that had been at training camp with them, as well.  Everyone Kenma considered a friend was there, but so were dozens of others he didn't know and had no intention of meeting.  His social anxiety ate at him before the day even arrived.
The players and managers and various guests were dressed quite nicely, but Kenma felt ridiculous in a suit.  He would have rather been in their uniforms than these, but Kuroo insisted.  It made him even more self-conscious than normal...afraid people would comment to him about it...laugh at him for looking foolish...never mind the fact that e
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